What does it mean to be in a rut? A rut is a series of behaviour that has become dull, boring and repetitive. It happens to the best of us in all aspects of our lives from time to time. From work, friendships and even relationships. A relationship routine is more common in long term couples living together especially when children are involved. It happens when your lives together become too routine: work, gym, pick up the kids, cook dinner, go to bed and repeat.
One of the main reasons we fall into these ruts (other than routine) is that we forget that maintaining a relationship is hard work. We work harder in the beginning of the relationship whether we notice it or not. And then afterwards we get a little too comfortable and the little things we did in the beginning we stop and then the romance begins to die out.
How do you get your relationship out of a rut?
Make dates a priority
Dates should be a priority in your relationship. But dates can be one of the reasons you’re in a rut if you go to the same restaurant all the time. Try and shake up your date nights and do something new and fun. Try a paint night, visiting a dark sky preserve to watch a meteor shower or a couples spa day. Whatever it is, just try something new and fun.
Surprise your partner with little gifts
Simple gestures are the best, hands down, especially when its out of the blue. Surprise your partner with a rose (or bouquet) or their favourite dessert. Even leave a hand written love note in their bag that they will see when they get to work.
Take vacations together
Everyone needs a vacation! It allows you to escape reality for a little while and just have some fun. Vacations don’t always have to be in another country however. You can do weekend trips at a nice hotel couple times a year and then one big vacation in another country if you like.
Spend more technology free time together
Quality time together without technology is important. Its good to be able to just chill and talk to each other. You would be surprise how many couples have been together for years and yet they don’t know very much about each other. Its funny how technology pulls people closer together but at the same time it drives us apart.
Start a new activity together or alone
You can try starting a new activity together like a pottery class, a cooking class, dance lessons etc. This will help to get you out of the relationship rut by switching up your routine and add something a little more fun in your day. You can take a class as a couple or may be even by yourself. Either way it will get you out of that rut.
People fall into ruts all the time in all aspects of life but its up to you to realize when you are in a relationship rut and get yourself out of it. Relationships are hard work and they require maintenance to survive in the long run. However, don’t confuse a dead-end relationship with a relationship in a rut.