More than often, we hear a lot about what goes wrong in families that fail. But what goes right in those that succeed? Confer 4 keys and tips to a happy and lasting marriage for couples.
Your marriage, family and home can be heaven on earth irrespective of whatever might have gone wrong before, if you are willing to apply and put the below keys to work immediately.
Husbands and wives must establish it as a rule to be committed, because it helps them to view their bond as permanent, and thus creates a sense of security between them. This build a strong confident that the other spouse will honour the union, even in difficult times.
Some couples feel compelled to stay together because of social or family pressure. Far better, is a sense of commitment that is based on mutual love and respect.
- Write an occasional love note to your spouse.
- Show your commitment by displaying photos of your spouse on your desk at work.
- Phone your spouse each day while you are at work or apart.
2. Team Work
If the spirit of sportmanship or team work rules in a marriage, a husband and wife in a family are like a pilot and copilot with the same flight plan. Even when challenges arise, each spouse thinks in terms of “we” rather than “me”.
“Teamwork is the essence of marriage. If my husband and I weren’t a team, we would be roommates instead of marriage mates- two people who live together but aren’t on the same page when it comes to important decisions.” – Says one elderly spouse.
- “Forget about who is right and who is wrong. That isn’t as having peace and unity in your marriage.”– Mrs Daniel.
- Instead of thinking, ‘ How can I win.’ think ‘ How can we win?’.
In a fast paced world, where respect has been thrown into the trash bin. It is of worthy to note that couples who desires to enjoy a happy home must reintroduced this to their marriage because without respect, conversation between spouses can become laced with criticism, sarcasm, and even contempt – qualities that researchers are early predictors of divorce in the family.
Making snide remarks, innuendos, or jokes about your wife will only crush her confidence, destroy her trust, and damage your marriage, and vice versa.
Track your conversation and actions for a week, this will likely help to make the needed adjustment.
- Write down ways you would like to be shown respects. Have your spouse do the same (it is advisable to start with a reasonable list say three or four ways and five at most for start).Exchange lists, and work on showing respect in the areas that were identified.
- Make a list of traits that you admire about your spouse. Then tell your spouse how much you appreciate those traits.
In the end, it is not a matter of whether you view yourself as respectful or not; it is a question of whether your spouse feel respected.
Forgive simply means that you let go of an offense and any feelings of resentment it may have caused. Forgiveness truly does not pretend it never occured or minimize the wrong.
When you truly love your spouse, you look past imperfections and instead see the person that you spouse is trying to become.
Forgiveness matters in marriage because if you hold on to resentment, you can harm yourself and emotionally – you can also damage your marriage.
- Try to excuse your spouse’s behaviour.
- When you are like be offend, do not attribute bad motives to your spouse.
Remember, it’s easy to forgive when we’re both wrong, but it’s more difficult when the offense seems one-sided. Accepting an apology and forgiving takes true humility, and love does not look for its own interests.
Do you liked the 4 keys and tips to a happy and lasting marriage for couples? Hope this helps.
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